The computer I was on in the office really got me today while having lot of things on plate. Ya don’t have to ask what OS this is on. Wondered why it had to open multiple files I never wanted to open. It kept on popping up windows crowding the taskbar and not letting me do anything. It would not even stop doing the things that got into my nerves. It suffocated the hell out of the desktop’s memory and for sure irritated my very cautious heart. I already have promised myself to be “angelically” patient and not to be grumpy. But things turned out wrong. Things let the sleeping green monster wake up again. The Green Hulk within started to reveal itself out. I almost wanted to break and pull the sensitive keys out of the keyboard as these fast fingers started going mad crazy. I didn’t have to turn myself literally into a Green Hulk but rather turned myself red. Ears got red hot! Sideburns coming now, no?
The Green Hulk – how’d ya rule over it? How’d ya try to dominate it when it overshadows you? Skeletal me (that’s a fact) versus this huge furious ogre? I have to make myself stronger than this destructive monster. They say breathing in and out “Hooosa…!” can ease you.
But, to be honest, I later realized this mistake I made letting this Hulk create a wreckage to this outward image and to this heart underneath. This madness could destroy me and my soul. I wanna defeat this monster. I don’t wanna be crippled by this impulsion now. I wanna be calmed. I wanna be weaned.
I then remembered this passage:
“But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” [Psalm 131:2]
How I long. How suave it is to have me pacified again. Now to God to cry out, “Can you turn this Green Hulk to a tender harmless baby pleaaaase?” Know this one’s my imperfection. So please Holy Spirit, hush my troubled soul and bear in me this fruit of patience I need in the days to come.
P.S. Writing this relieved me. Whew!